Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold
by 3VAD127
Summary: AU. Kim's grown up, married to a certain blond, and pregnant. But an urgent call from Wade takes her on an unexpected stroll down memory lane. No longer a oneshot... COMPLETE


Disclaimer: I own nothing on _KP_. There; I said it.

A/N: A nice little oneshot I contrived while daydreaming late at night. Enjoy.

**San Quentin Maximum Security Prison, CA**

The blue-skinned mad scientist looked at the clock on the lime-painted stone wall. Only five minutes until dinner time. He smiled. Then his plan would be complete. All he needed was the newspaper, a spoon, and the dinner tray. He'd be busting out of this joint in no time.

He had arrived at the facility yesterday as a transfer from the Middleton Community Prison. As one of the world's most notorious villains, the whole tri-city area had agreed to hand him over to someone with better security. If he got loose in Middleton, the next places he would go would be Upperton and Lowerton. They didn't want to take those kind of chances. So here he was, the best of the best, anxiously awaiting the prison's food delivery. What low level had he stooped to?

He tapped his foot, patiently awaiting its arrival. Ah; here came the good man now. The prison guard slid the tray of food through the opening in the steel door.

"Hey, buddy," asked the blue inmate. "Y'think I could get today's paper? It's Sunday, and I don't want to miss the comics. The colored ones only come once a week!"

The guard nodded gruffly, then left. He promptly returned, said newspaper in hand.

"Thanks. Oh, and can I have a spoon, too? It's meatloaf today, and I don't want to eat with my hands again."

"Would you like some fries with that?" asked the agitated guard.

The jailed villain looked at him with bloodshot eyes. "Buddy, I suggest you get cookin'. Those spoons don't find themselves, you know."

The guard hurried off and brought back a plastic spoon. The blue megalomaniac grinned. "Just what the doctor ordered."

The dark-haired jailer shook his head. "What low levels have I stooped to? Moving to California was the worst idea ever. I'd still be teaching people like Stoppable back in Middleton," he muttered. And the hunched form of one very regretful Mr. Barkin slowly walked through the halls, making his usual rounds.

**Middleton, CO**

Kim was ecstatic. Today was her anniversary. She and her husband had been married exactly four years now. After the whole L'il Diablo incident, Bueno Nacho had permanently shut down, Drakken and Shego went off to the Middleton Community Prison, and she and her love had finally settled down and had a family. The fiery redhead had decided to marry her high school sweetheart. Sometimes those relationships don't exactly work out for the best, but in Kim's case, it was the perfect arrangement.

She practically pranced through her home, considering all the extra weight she was carrying. Kim was pregnant with twins. The first time she and her blond-haired husband had visited the doctor, they were shocked at the thought of twins. But over time, they soon began to realize that it was what they had always wanted. It was late enough in the pregnancy for the doctors to tell her the genders: a girl and a boy. The young couple was excited to hear this, and decided to make at least one of them a junior.

"_Probably the girl," her husband had said._

_Kim, curious, asked, "Why? Aren't boys usually juniors?"_

"_Well," he responded, "I want to name our boy Prestin Robert. That way I can call him Pea-Bob." Kim laughed. _

"_Always cracking jokes, huh, hot stuff?" She swatted his ear playfully from her position on the examination table._

"_You know me," he grinned. "Lighten up the mood a little."_

Kim sat down at her kitchen table. She smiled, remembering that day. It had been wonderful; a relief from the stresses of every day living. Marriage definitely wasn't a bunch of roses, but it had been the most amazing thing that she had decided to do. She didn't regret her choice, but sometimes, she wished things had gone differently with another certain blond-haired young man. After their break-up, she wanted to still be friends, but he didn't. After that, she lost all track of him. She took him off her speed dial and forgot about their unfortunate mishap. Perhaps he would forget about the incident the way she did, right? That's what she hoped. She definitely didn't want the past to come back to haunt her.

As Kim was remembering, her husband came into the kitchen and kissed her on the cheek. "Good morning, honey," he said. "How're the babies doing?" She smiled and patted her stomach.

"One of them just won't stop kicking," she said.

"Hmm, must've come from your end of the gene pool." She promptly punched him on the arm.

He grinned. "I like 'em fiesty," he said playfully.

Kim got up from her chair and kissed him tenderly. "And I like them blond."

"I can tell." Her husband moved around the table into the family room. "Here; let me show you somethi..." the poor man never finished his sentence. Good thing they had unplugged the phones; Kim and her husband would be very busy tonight.

**11:02 p.m., Los Angeles, CA**

He had done it. He had escaped one of the highest security prisons in America. And all with a spoon, newspaper, a dinner tray, and a little "borrowed" tranquilizer that he had stashed away in his pocket. Darting the guard was easy; retrieving the key and getting out was even easier. After so much experience in the field, the blue villain knew he had what it took to be the best. He not only gloated, but also had the proof to back it up. That's why he was now reclining in a first class seat on his way to Colorado. He had an old lair there, not to mention an old "friend" he really felt he had to catch up with. Obviously, before he had left, he shed his costume for a distinguished business suit. He had then covered up his blue complexion, leaving what appeared to be a harmless nobody skin tone. He stashed his costume in his briefcase; he couldn't bring himself to throw it away. He had come up with so many good schemes in it, laughed a good many villain laughs in it. No, he would still wear it, but not here. Not now. He was saving it.

Oh, yes; revenge was very sweet.

**10:00 a.m., next day, Middleton, CO**

Kim groaned and rolled over in her bed. She held that great feeling that only comes with marriage. She was empty, but full; tired, but energized; and happy. Very, very happy. She glanced over to her husband, dirty blond hair tousled from the previous night's "activities." He snored loudly, eliciting a giggle from Kim. She got up, but quickly sat back down. The pain was immense. She took deep breaths and decided not to get up so fast next time. Now she knew what her mother had felt like when she was pregnant with Tim and Jim. She calmed down and decided to cook breakfast for her husband.

Okay, she needed eggs, butter, ham, maybe some bacon, and definitely some pancake batter. She padded to the kitchen, and, finding her center, chose to use the blender. She was definitely getting better at this.

**Somewhere in Colorado...**

The blue scientist rubbed his hands together. He would finally have his chance at revenge. He was in his lair, examining the inventions he had hidden away for just a time as this. He chose a simple plasma catapult as the distraction, while he would extract his revenge with an original: a mind control chip.

"Bring it on, baby! I'm ready for you! Bwahahahahaha!" he laughed maniacally.

He finished his laugh session, then walked over to a panel full of many shiny, red buttons. He _loved_ shiny buttons, especially the red kind. He pushed the one he knew would turn off his cloaking dome. He didn't want the possibility of his foe not locating him trying to "take over the world." All he needed to do now was let that boy genius track down his power usage level and call Kim. Boy, this was becoming easier than he ever thought possible. _Possible._ He shivered, full of hatred for that accursed name. "Sometime soon," he said, "I _will_ get my revenge; you will pay, lady! _You will pay!_"

**10:23 a.m., Middleton, CO**

The kitchen was a mess, and the Kimmunicator was beeping. "Snap," Kim cursed. _I thought I turned that accursed thing off when I officially resigned_, she thought. She weighed her decisions, then sighed, turning the batter-spewing blender off. She pressed the "Call" button and said, "What's the unneeded sitch, Wade?"

"Sorry, Kim. I know you wanted GJ to handle stuff from now on, but it's urgent. I've located a major power surge in one of Drakken's old lairs. You, having as much experience as you do with him, should go check it out."

Kim sighed... again. "I thought he was still in prison."

"He was, but was soon transferred to San Quentin Maximum Security Prison for, well, security reasons," Wade explained. "There was a break-out reported yesterday. The witness claims he saw a blue-skinned figure escape over the fence of the prison using quote 'some kind of levitating thingie.'"

"Yep, that's definitely Drakken. Send me the coordinates, and I'm on my way."

**Somewhere in Colorado...(again)**

The villain anxiously awaited the arrival of his foe. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he heard the sound of a plane fly over his lair. He scanned the area for the Kimmunicator's frequency. Aha. Right outside; perfect.

He centered the plasma catapult to look more foreboding in the semi-darkness of his lair. He then stuck the mind control chip in his pocket, fingering it through his gloves. Oh yeah; this was gonna be good.

* * *

Kim burst through the door of the lair, saying, "Give it up, Drakken!" 

"Aha! My not-so-teenage foe has come to get me. What're you gonna do, hope I can't outrun you?" he mocked her.

Enraged, she performed a series of backflips and landed on his plasma catapult, still unable to see her opponent totally. "Reveal yourself, Drakken! I always knew you were a coward, but this is going a little far."

The villain chuckled from his dark corner. "Kim, Kim, Kim, always jumping to conclusions. You really think that moron Drakken could've escaped San Quentin in only two days? No," he answered his own question. He stepped out of the shadows, satisfied Kim had been in the dark long enough.

She gasped, seeing goofy ears, bloodshot brown eyes, an assortment of splotchedfreckles... "What the...? Who are you?"

He laughed. "Why, Kim, don't you recognize me? Or should I say... _KP_! You really thought I would just forget about it when you dumped me after Prom? Don't think so! You were my world, my best friend, my everything... and you _dumped me_!Now you're gonna pay for that idiot of a mistake, and pay big time. Booyah, baby! The Ron is back and ready to play!"

Kim stepped backwards on the catapult, taken aback. "But... but..."

Ron, _Zorpox_, mimicked Kim in a high-pitched voice, "'_But... but...' _You really think I'm gonna fall for that, KP?" He pulled a controller from his pocket and pressed the blue button. Suddenly, a wall in the lair turned around, displaying one unconscious and very disheveled Josh Mankey. "One wrong move, and Monkey Boy's toast. You surrender. NOW."

Kim didn't move.

"Don't make me press this button, KP, 'cause you know I will. I never could resist buttons, especially the shiny kind."

Kim nodded her head in defeat. She didn't know how, but he had finally trapped her. He had the most important person in her life, and, knowing Ron, he wouldn't hesitate to push a button. Ever.

"Excellent." He took her arms and legs and strapped her next to Josh.

_This can't be happening to me_. In a last-ditch effort to regain herself, she said, "You're not human, _Ron_! You're not even Zorpox!"

Ron looked her full in the eye. Where there had once been child-like fascination, joy, and commitment, there was now... nothing. Darkness, hatred, and distrust had seeped into his features. She looked away, not able to bear the sight of her reflection in his eyes. "No, Kim," he said quietly. "I'm perfectly human. You, on the other hand, are not. You knew you meant everything to me, but you dumped me anyway. For what? A... a... _golden monkey boy_! High up the 'food chain,'" he said, making air quotes. He turned away from them, arms crossed. Kim stared at his red and purple cape until he spoke again. "No, Kim," he was once again quiet. "I'm human."

He walked over to his control panel, pressing a number of buttons and entering various commands. "And as such," he continued, "it is in my human nature to want revenge. And that's what I'm gonna get."

Kim looked to her side, noticing Josh was waking up. _Yes!_ she thought. _He'll help me escape._ Unfortunately, Zorpox noticed, too.

"Well, well, well," he said. "I see our companion has decided to join us in the Land of the Living." He pressed a button, sending a shock wave through Josh, knocking him out once again. "Too bad we don't need you, though. Otherwise, I'd let you join the party, but to tell the truth, NO MONKEYS ALLOWED!"He laughed evilly. _Boy, this is fun._

Kim was angry. "You tease me all you want to, but you hurt Josh, you've gone too far!" she growled.

"Aaawww!" Zorpox mocked. "How cute! And disgustingly cliché. Kim, after all this time, I would've thought you came up with something new, not so... run of the mill. Sappy. Gorchy. Fluffy, even."

"Don't." Kim was fed up. She knew she had been wrong in dumping Ron, but marrying Josh and becoming Mrs. Kimberly Ann Mankey was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Right?

* * *

Unknown to either of them, Rufus had been watching the whole thing from the rafters. He couldn't believe his friend had turned... evil. After Kim and Ron broke up, Ron went into a funk. Rufus, feeling rejected, ran away to Kim's house, hoping to find comfort. He hadn't seen his buddy since. He shook his little head, trying to decide what to do. Ron was evil, so he couldn't go that way. Then again, it was Kim's fault... 

No. He'd have to do the right thing. And he knew exactly what that was.

* * *

Ron approached the struggling Kim, mind control chip in hand. "And now for the real fireworks." Suddenly the sound of sirens interrupted him. "What the...?" Zorpox said, confused. 

Kim smiled. "Looks like Rufus found your phone," she said.

Ron's eyes grew wide. It wasn't supposed to end this way. He was the best! And he _would_ have his revenge; he had sworn it. He smiled to himself, a plan beginning to form in his mind.

* * *

The blue-skinned Ron was lead away to the waiting police vehicle. "Watch me cliché, KP! You'll never get away with this!" he yelled at her. 

Kim sat in the back of a police cruiser, cup of coffee in hand. Beside her sat her husband, Josh. She was grateful he was there to support her. But she was still a little, nay, a lot regretful about how things had ended out between her and Ron. She sighed. _Maybe... if only I had ended on better terms with Ron._ Josh, noticing her discomfort, patted her leg. The redhead smiled and patted back, then gave him a little kiss. At least Josh was there to make it all go away.

Well, she hoped. But in the back of her mind, a sentence played like a broken record, over and over again: _Even good people mess up, Possible. You messed up big time. You messed up big time._

From the back of the police vehicle, Zorpox watched the retreating circle of police cruisers. Once a fair distance away, he turned slightly to the left and hit the guard on the back of the neck. He was out cold. He quickly shed his handcuffs and pulled out a controller, much like the one he used back at his lair. With a small grating sound, Ron was free. He sailed away in his stolen hovercraft, holding yet another odd-looking device. This one was much smaller than the last, and was round and only had a single button on it, with an antenna and a speaker. He was glad Dr. Bortol decided to upgrade to remote controlled mind control chips. He grinned and pushed the button. In just a few seconds, Kim Mankey would be under his control.

Yes, revenge really was a dish best served cold.

THE END

A/N: Please realize, people, that it was very late at night when I thought this up. O.o

Now, you know what to do. That's right! You've read, now please review!

And yes, I am working on the next chapter of my story, Old Foes, New Beginnings. Sorry it's taking so long, people. I am... working on it! -flies away heroically-


End file.
